September 12, 2014

Back to school rant and pics

Back to school time was rough for me this year. I really didn't want summer to be over. As much as I like a clean and quiet house during the day, I much prefer a life without waking up early and homework and SCC meetings and trying to remember who has PE and who has Library on what day. It was tough to see the big kids go because I knew it would mean that all those things were just around the corner. But it was heart wrenching to see Easton go because it felt like the end of a chapter in my life. A chapter I'm not entirely sure I want to be done with. I LOVE having kids at home, little ones to take care of, sidekicks to hang out with... 

So here we are now 2 or 3 weeks into the school year. Yeah, I honestly can't remember how long it's been. And I still hate coming home to an empty house after I drop Easton off. Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of it. I always think, "oh, I can take a nap." or "I should watch one of my smutty shows now while I fold all the laundry" or "I can get in an hour of cardio with no one bugging me" but then I never do any of those things. I mostly just clean the house and putter or find a friend to go do something with.

Anyway, the big kids have been adjusting to school wonderfully. I knew they would. But Easton has been a roller coaster. Some days he hates it and some days he goes just fine. This week has been easier, but he still gets anxiety right before lunch when he remembers that he has to go to school. He's the youngest in his class and his teacher says he is very tentative about joining in on some activities and he lacks the self awareness and responsibility that come with being just a little more mature. Bottom line-never have I regretted a parenting decision as much as I regret putting Easton in Kindergarten this year. I so wish that I had waited until he was 6. I kick myself about it on a daily basis. My heart breaks when I watch him take longer to pick up on a concept than my big kids did when they were in Kindergarten. I wish I had just gone with my gut and held him back. We are putting him in a reading program and I am hoping that helps him, but honestly, I almost pulled him out of school on Wednesday. I can't imagine how we are going to make it through this year and I fear that I have given him a disadvantage for the rest of his school years by starting him before he was truly ready.

End rant. I am trying to have faith that things will be okay.

So here are some back to school pictures of the cute kiddos. The big kids started school on August 20th and Easton started on the 25th. I got a bug to color my hair on the 23rd and so I look like two different people in these photos. BTW-I miss my blond hair terribly. I am counting down the days until I can got back to it. I may be having a 1/3 life crisis...

Taylor-5th Grade
Jack-2nd Grade
Myles-2nd Grade
Kendrick and the big kids
The kids and I
It is crazy to me how much these three love school. They were so excited to go back.
His backpack drowns him. It's so cute on him though.
I was a mess. An emotional, crying, heartbroken mess.

Kendrick was a rock. I don't think he shed a single tear.
Saddest walk ever. I so wish I was exaggerating about that.
Nothing says, "welcome to Kindergarten" like a little apple juice and muffins. While we were waiting for our juice, a little girl spilled hers all over my foot. I was already crying at that point and when her mom turned to apologize to me she looked so sorry for me. I reassured her that I couldn't care less about my foot, I was more distraught about seeing my baby go to Kindergarten. Then she just looked at me like I was crazy. 

Oh my gosh! He is the coolest kindergartner I know.
When we turned to leave the school I was a mess. I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to go the long way and walk back up the steps and out to the crossing guard but Kendrick said we HAD to go through the parking lot. I turned around to reluctantly follow him and walking towards me were our sweet neighbors, Tiffany and Dean. And in Tiffany's hand was an open box of Banbury Cross donuts. Naturally I started crying harder. I was so touched. That thoughtful act of kindness helped me get through the rest of the week. I feel very blessed to have people in my life who care so much about me.

I don't know if this will end up being our last year at this school but I have to say, I have LOVED our time at this school. I have been so impressed with our kid's teachers and I love all that our kids have learned. They have made some awesome friends and this school has given us some neat opportunities to grow closer as a family and give back to the community. Even though we were brought to this neighborhood and this school due to a hard loss. This neighborhood, this school and even this ward have been an answer to my prayers. I feel lucky that our kids have had so many wonderful experiences while living here.